Does this sound familiar? You tiptoe around certain topics with your spouse, dreading the inevitable argument. Every conversation feels like walking through a minefield, You’re both exhausted from miscommunication, feeling unheard and disconnected. The reality for many couples is this: communication feels broken.

But here’s the good news: rebuilding communication doesn’t always require complex therapy techniques or dramatic changes. Just as baseball succeeds through the simple act of pitch and catch, your marriage can thrive through basic but intentional communication practices. Let’s take the field and learn to be a team.

#1: The Pitch: Make Your Message Count

Remember learning baseball as a kid? No one starts out throwing perfect strikes. The same applies to communication—it takes practice to deliver your message effectively. Wild throws and miscommunications are normal, but with the right technique, you can improve dramatically.

To pitch effectively in your marriage:

1. Start from a calm emotional state—not with anger and frustration.

2. Choose words your partner can easily catch—no accusations.

3. Frame conversations as team plays—how it benefits both of you.

4. Keep it concise. Don’t ramble or beat around the bush.

5. Be clear. Share what you want and need, not just complaints.

#2: The Catch: Mastering the Art of Listening

In baseball, you can’t throw a runner out unless you’ve caught the ball first. Similarly, effective communication requires catching your partner’s message before responding. Just as we teach children to keep their eye on the ball and grip the glove with both hands, we must learn to focus fully on our partner’s words.

Dr. John Gottman’s research reveals that feeling heard and influential in the relationship is crucial for marital success. Yet many people focus more on planning their next pitch (response) than catching what their partner is saying.

To master these catching techniques:

1. Eliminate distractions. Put your phones away and turn off the TV.

2. Maintain genuine eye contact. Show you are fully present.

3. Use encouraging body language. Nod, smile and show empathy.

4. Ask clarifying questions. Seek to understand—not to debate.

5. Mirror their message. Reflect what you heard to ensure accuracy.

#3: The Stretch: Move Toward Your Partner

Baseball players don’t stand still waiting for the perfect throw—they stretch, dive and adapt. Marriage communication requires the same flexibility. Sometimes you need to stretch toward each other to truly connect with your partner.

To stretch as a partner:

1. Seek clarity without judgment. Avoid jumping to conclusions.

2. Find common ground. Look for shared values and goals.

3. Acknowledge valid points. Validate their experiences and feelings.

4. Take ownership. Accept responsibility for your role.

5. Share your perspective respectfully—honor their feelings.

Success in Action:

Take Arnold and Sylvia, for example. Their communication had been limited to discussing daily logistics—like players merely going through the motions. But when they committed to practicing these techniques for just 20 minutes each day, focusing especially on catching what each other said, their connection began to flourish. They discovered that, like baseball, marriage thrives on consistent practice and teamwork.

Step Up to the Plate:

Ready to transform your marriage communication? Here's your first practice drill: Tonight, spend 20 minutes with your spouse focusing solely on the "catch" techniques. Put away all distractions and truly listen to what your partner has to say. You might be surprised at what you hear when you're fully in the game.

*Ron Cochran is the founder of Marriage Renewal Academy LLC, helping couples rebuild stronger, more connected relationships through practical strategies. For more marriage-strengthening tips, follow Marriage Renewal Academy on [Facebook] and [Instagram].*